Shuffling through September

My September can be summarized by the tarot card Eight of Wands.

I love a good tarot card reading. I had a friend ask how often I pull my cards, and the answer was it depends. 

When I feel the urge to fidget, I grab my tarot deck. Sometimes, I don’t even pull anything. Just the act of shuffling the cards rhythmically in my hands gives me the outlet I need to focus on a conversation or release some anxious energy. Other times, I’m looking for something to give me some direction or guidance, or validation. Should I be relying on a deck of cards for that? My therapist would likely have some thoughts on that (if you’re reading this, hi Julie). 

Everyone goes about tarot differently. My preference is to wait for a card to make itself known as I shuffle, and I typically do this until I have 3 cards. So if a card flies out of the deck or sticks out noticeably while I handle the cards, I usually take that as my sign to pull the card.

In September, I pulled the Eight of Wands 3 times. 

That number may not seem that significant, but considering there are 78 cards in a tarot deck and I pulled my cards maybe 6-7 times in September, it makes it a bit harder to ignore. It’s even harder to ignore when I reflect on the month.

At the end of August, I lost my job. I wrote a whole post on that already, so I’m not going to dwell on that, but it did profoundly shape the month that followed, obviously. 

I had a trip to Seattle planned and booked for mid-September, so I didn’t have much time for a pity party. I went straight into prepping for my trip to the Pacific Northwest Writers Association (PNWA) conference. There was something nice about being away from home and not even having to think about work or what was waiting for me when I returned … because I didn’t have work! So I focused on writing, getting comfortable with social media, and immersing myself in craft and the business of writing.

I went into the conference hoping to have a great pitch session with an agent and full manuscript requests that might lead to an offer.

I left the conference inspired to self-publish.

Jane Friedman was the brunch keynote speaker on the last day of the conference. She’s been reporting on the publishing industry for over 3 decades. If you’re a writer, you should know about her. If you don’t, go to her blog right this second (she’s way cooler than me). Her speech focused on the state of publishing in the past vs the state of publishing now. I won’t go into the details of all the facts, figures, and anecdotes she covered (again, just go read her blog, seriously). But at the end of the speech, she posed a question.

What is your goal for being traditionally published? Is it for validation? 

To my surprise, my answer was no. I don’t need validation from an agent or publisher that I’m worth their time. And in this day and age, authors are expected to handle their own marketing and social presence. So if the only thing the publisher is providing is editing, design, and the distribution of your book … Well, hell, I can do that.

There is no such thing as a writer who spends 100% of their time writing. That’s the dream we all have, right? To be free and creative. To own our own schedules and let someone else handle all the business stuff. But that’s not the reality. Whether traditional or indie, no author is immune to the business side of their writing career. So if that’s the case either way, then I’d rather own the whole process. 

Besides, nobody knows my book better than me.

Leaving the conference, I mulled over the decision of self-publishing in my head. I talked to my friends and my husband. I started making lists. I downloaded free books and resources from trusted sources. I turned ChatGPT into my own virtual assistant to create timelines and projections. I redesigned my logo, finalized my branding, ordered business cards, and requested cover design quotes. And by the end of the month, I’d decided on a launch date.  

Within days of making my decision to self-publish, I received 2 separate agent rejections from queries I’d sent in June and September, respectively. The first agent rejection said she loved my book’s hook/concept, but she already had a similar book in her list. The second rejection, the agent said my writing was compelling, the book was solid, and I was on the right path to being a professional author … but she didn’t feel confident enough to sell my book to publishers. She suggested I submit to Harlequinn, then reach out to her if I need help with negotiating contracts. 

Even though they were rejections, they felt like signs that I made the right decision.

The Eight of Wands signifies progress, momentum, and action. It often shows up when it feels like everything around you is happening at rapid speed. If that doesn’t describe my past month, then I don’t know what does.

Things are moving fast, but they also feel right.

Time to see what the cards have in store for me next month.